Monday, June 29, 2009

The Top 4 Common Reasons for Divorce

There are numerous reasons on why married couples get divorced. However,throughtout my couple counselling that I conduct, there are 4 main causes that led to divorce.

1. Infidelity

This is probably the world's common cause for a divorce. Spouses may be unfaithful consistently during an affair, intermittently, or just once in a one night stand.

Couples should sit down and talk about it, find out the reason that led to the affair. The common explanations for unfaithfulness include resentment or anger (with the other spouse),sexual boredom, lack of communication and many of the other causes of marital failure.

2. Lack of Communication

In any marriage, Communication is the KEY to success. Failure to communicate will led to conflicts among many other things.

In extreme cases, a growing inability to deal with any verbal exchanges without conflict could be indicative of a much more serious problem that requires the attention of a mental health professional.

3. Finances

Spouses found out that either one is spending way above the budget or incurring more debts than before.

4. Interference

Interference be it from families or friends often lead to complications and complications will lead to conflicts and conflicts will eventually lead to divorce.

Your spouse would not want a third party to know the issues that you face. Your spouse probably feels that this is an issue for the both of you to work together.

Recommended Reading: I love to recommend a Co-author of a great book on saving marriages. I am using some of her methods for counselling and the results are great.

Read the Book HERE (Click on the Link) and Be Inspired

How to save your marriage

Marriages are difficult. Even the best of relationships can reach a place that requires a little bit of TLC. You should remember that there are many different reasons that your relationship might need mending, so the way to repairing the relationship may be unique to those circumstances. But following is a list of five simple steps that you can take to start mending your broken marriage today.

Acknowledgement. This means that you and your spouse sit down and have an honest conversation admitting that there is a problem with the marriage and it is time to fix it. Next, be truthful towards each other and the both of you have to sincerely want to solve the problem.
Many marriages end mainly because only one person wants to repair it.

The Blaming Game. Stop blaming one another. Mending your marriage isn't about "winning". Many married couples always insists that it is his fault, why can't he just listen to me, She doesn't understand me at all. In marriage, it takes 2 hands to clap and always bear in mind that it isn't about who did things right and who did them wrong. Mistakes were made, sit down and discuss on the matter clearly and amicably.

List. Start listing down what you want changed in your spouse. List down your likes and dislikes of your spouse. Figure out what needs to be different before the both of you can have a happy marriage again.

Research- Constantly look for ways to save your marriage. Seek materials which can help you in your marriage. If need be, go to a marriage counselor for advise. Else, get good reading materials that helps you in your marriage

Speaking of good reading materials, I have a great one. The author is well known and she gives great advise and if you truly have an interest in Saving your Marriage, then grab the book HERE. I assure you, it will help you.